square pegs and round holes: my path to ministry

Evin Langley

I’ve always found the idiom “you can’t put a square peg in a round hole” a little funny. Maybe it’s because I’m the father of (rowdy and stubborn) boys. If, at any age, they were given a shapes toy, and told that they couldn’t make it fit… I guarantee that they would break something trying to prove me wrong.

And I think I get it…

I’ve always kind of been a square peg kind of guy… trying to cram myself into a round hole. I’ve always been a little different; a little unexpected; a little out of place.

And, to be honest, that’s only occasionally been uncomfortable for me. I’ve always been pretty ok being the scholarship kid; being the short guy on the basketball team; being the rocker in the church choir. I just kind of assumed that it was inevitable, being the odd man out. It was kind of my thing.

It wasn’t until I began working closely with my students, that I realized the cultural problem we have with square pegs… or maybe round holes.

Many of you already know that I was a teacher at a Christian high school for almost a decade. There are lots of stories there, that I’ll likely share at other times. But it was in that context that I began to really understand the dangers of a culture, and a Church, where people feel out of place.

My role at the school allowed me to hear some pretty personal stories from a number of young people. And a shockingly common experience was repeated to me again and again. Of all the places that these young men and women felt uncomfortable, unwelcome, unwanted… the most out of place they ever felt was in the Church.

Maybe they felt they didn’t look the part.

Maybe they felt that they weren’t seen or valued.

Maybe they felt that they didn’t live up to a standard that they perceived as required.

Maybe they just kept asking questions… difficult questions… questions they felt were both innocent and important. And the resounding answer they got was “we don’t ask that kind of question.”

I want to be careful throwing stones, both here and in my ministry. All of these stories had their own nuance and good intentions, and I know that there are many many churches that are graciously making space… but what I found, was that there were so many people, especially young people, who desperately wanted to know Jesus… but who felt that there was no space in the Church where they could find him.

And that maybe, if the people of the Church thought that they were too different, too broken, too inquisitive for the Church… then maybe Jesus did too.

And that was my lightbulb moment. That was when I realized that the same Jesus who had walked with me my entire “odd man out” life, was calling me to ministry, specifically so that I could help create space for square pegs in our traditionally round churches.

And (maybe foolishly) I felt called to do that without abandoning orthodox theology or historic ecclesiology…

And so here I am… after years of preparation, training, counsel, and wrestling out a call with my family… following a call into a ministry of Church planting with the PCA. Desperate to plant churches, where the gospel is preached, where God is honored, and where anyone who is seeking Jesus can find a place, regardless of who they are, how they look, what their struggle, or how many questions they ask.